32 weeks.... and giving up control

This was last week's post but pregnancy brains kicked in and I forgot to publish it.

So far, we have officially made it to 32 weeks... on of my mini goals.

Last Saturday, little Bean and I were spoiled quite rotten at our baby shower. With Bean being number 3, I wasn't sure that I was even going to be having a baby shower. When I was asked what I wanted I said not to be in a public place, simple tea, with friends. The thing I enjoyed most about the shower was getting to see my friends. I realised just how much of a recluse I have become.

My chocolate sister did a fabulous job of organising everything to be perfect on the day. and there were enough gluten free spoils to satisfy my pregnant cravings for days after. My dad headed off to golf before the guests arrived, leaving his precious home in our cupcake-filled hands, and a handful of friends and family made their appearance and caught me up on the latest in their lives.

It was wonderful to hear what everyone was up to. 

My personal aim in this pregnancy has been to reach at least 34 weeks.

Optimistic, I know. It's not like I actually have any say in the matter. It is more of a "Surprise! This is happening" kind of affair. But I suppose life is like that. We don't really have that much control over anything that happens in our lives. This thought is something that completely weirds out the control-freak in me. I would like to believe that at some level, I can control some aspects of the happenings in my life... perhaps all I can control is my reaction to incidences of out-of-controllness.

Directly after my accident, I discovered how out of my control my life can actually be. Since then, I have carefully hung on to that tenuous feeling of control... so the waiting is really getting to me.

In that highly optimistic, I'm pretending to be in control way, I have proclaimed that little Bean will make his appearance in the next 2 to 5 weeks.

... But I honestly admit that I really don't know.